Lupus, and thanking God for another year of life!

The Frailty of Life

This weekend I read a moving account of a young college senior with lupus, Ariane Patterson, who suffered a fatal heart attack last week in the middle of her college class. It was her 21st birthday that day, and seven hours earlier, she sent out a Twitter message to all of her friends, “Thank you God for another year of life.”

We never really know when the unexpected will happen, interrupting our lives, changing them forever, or perhaps even closing the door on this life and opening the door into the next.  It seems Ariane had a clear handle on her faith, and understood the frailty of her life.  Although most lupus patients do not suffer life-threatening symptoms like Ms. Patterson, many may understand a little of what she was feeling that day.

On milestone dates, anniversaries, and at other memorable times, these are good times to be thankful: to remember the blessings we have, to focus on the good things around us, to recall the things for which we are thankful.  Even the simple and obvious things should not be taken for granted.  Even life itself, is a gift.  I think Ariane understood that!

Remembering and being Thankful

I would hope I remember daily to thank God for my life, for another day, and for the amazing gifts I have. A loving husband, wonderful children, grandchildren, enough provision to meet my real needs, friends, family, a great church, a nice home, and a loving, forgiving God.

I must echo the words of this insightful young college girl with lupus, so simply and profoundly expressed. She was able to finish that fateful day last week by thanking her God in person. The senior campus minister related that an index card found in her backpack contained a note, “God, whatever you want me to do today, I will do it and whatever you don’t want me to do today, I won’t.”  How full her heart must have been to be able to personally express her thankfulness for life to the Giver of life before the day came to its end.

Remembering Ariane Patterson

If you would like to read more about Ariane’s story in a North Carolina newspaper, please click here.  To see pictures of Ariane, click here to view a photo tribute on the web page of the private Christian college she attended.

Looking ahead at 2012, I want to remember daily to thank God for each new day of life!  There have been a few close calls in my past, when I did not know which side of glory my day would end on.

Yes this is a sobering story, but something about Ariane just touches me and reminds me to cultivate and water my own thankful spirit within.

Lupus advances on swollen ankles and bathroom scales

Weight at an all-time high

Some troubling symptoms have suddenly emerged with my lupus in the past few days.  Only rarely were swollen ankles part of my past lupus experience, but suddenly my calves are thickened, my ankles have mild pitting edema, my abdomen is extremely swollen (and feels like a watermelon,) my prednisone moon face is now further exaggerated, my asthmatic lungs are heavy and labored and my skin is itching terribly.  In 3 days I gained 10 pounds, and now weigh a whopping ten pounds over my previous life-time high.

To describe my present state as uncomfortable would be a gross understatement.  I feel somewhat like the blueberry bloated kid in the Willy Wonka story, ready to burst with pressure from within.  Very few garments in my closet are loose enough for comfort, and my lower limbs are not very pretty as they stick out distended from under my skirt hem.  I look down at them and see my grandmother’s ankles!  (Please don’t confuse me with the fact that I AM a grandmother…)

I did some simple research on these new symptoms and found a couple of things to discuss with my doctor on Monday: my kidneys and my heart.  The fluid retention is a possible symptom of problems with one of these organs.

So far in this life-long battle with lupus, I have been spared lupus’ attack on my kidneys.

It has long been accepted that least 50% of lupus patients have some type of kidney involvement, and recently I heard that experts have increased this number to almost 60%.  Lupus is a leading cause of kidney failure.  Lupus may have rampaged against some of my other vital organs, liver and brain, but has until now left my kidneys alone.  These symptoms could indicate that may have changed.

My heart has a couple of problems that we know about, but up to now lupus has not been one of them.  Lupus is known to be a cause of several possible heart problems, and my new symptoms connected with heart problems in lupus patients.

I have a mild heart murmur caused by mitral valve regurgitation.  This involves the same part of the heart as better known mitral valve prolapse, but is different.  A prolapsing mitral valve doesn’t close properly and stresses the heart, making it work harder with each beat.  My regurgitating mitral valve doesn’t quite seal all the way, and a little bit of blood whooshes back through the valve.  My heart takes 10 steps forward moving the blood, and one step backward.  A little bit inefficient, but has not been  problematic for the health of my heart, so far.

Feeling like the Goodyear blimp!

Am I worried?  Maybe a little, but mostly just concerned that there is something new and different going on in my body that may be caused by lupus.  It will be extremely important to connect with my doctors next week and find out what sense they can make of these new developments.  I know better than to try to diagnose myself, but the possibilities identified in my quick research encourage me to seek the opinion of real medical doctor.

In the meantime, I feel like the Goodyear blimp, and will just have to wear my “big clothes.”