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Lupus in a Victimless Life – Despite Limitations

Series: Lupus in a Victimless Life

Butterfly on yellow daisy

This is the second discussion in a series about being a Lupus patient or someone with any chronic illness, without becoming a victim.  Society tells us we are victims of the things that make life difficult, but do we really need to see ourselves that way?  No, not even for a minute!

Having Lupus should not mean being victim or powerless against it.  Although we cannot choose whether we have Lupus, determining not to be its victim is matter of mindset and even a choice.  When special events or activities in our life disrupt our normal routines and schedules, it becomes very important to be on guard for signs of physical or other stress.  Stress or fatigue may signal increased risk of bringing on a flare of lupus symptoms.

WP_20180502_18_45_00_ProA recent trip to attend a business conference was an excellent example of this type of self-management that often minimizes the impact of potential lupus flares.  Recently joining about 1,000 peers from all over the nation at an educational conference in Washington, D.C., we gathered at a large resort on the Potomac River for five days of classes and continuing legal management education.  With breakfast starting very early, and classes going all day long, by sunset, everyone was tired.  There were many extra steps going to and fro from class to class, and every situation and conversation was a new experience.  This type of event interacting with countless people and ideas easily causes both physical and emotional fatigue.  This conference was no exception.

Hands Holding Book ReadingSelecting how to best spend the free time in the evenings included a wide array of choices, from dining with old and new found friends to taking shopping trips, going on walks, taking in local entertainment.  The conservative choice was spending the night quietly in a hotel room reading a book or eating a takeout meal, while resting with feet propped on a pillow.  Predictably, most evenings were spent pursuing a sedentary evening that helped prevent over-exertion, while also promoting restoration necessary before the next day’s demanding schedule.  Wisdom is listening to the physical needs of your body, and recognizing without angst that lupus narrows those limits.  It seemed the best idea was the wise one.

WP_20180503_20_03_18_ProBut, of course, a little fun, within physical limits was necessary!  One night, opting to accept the invitation to take a sunset walk with attendees from our local chapter sounded fun!  Midway through our jaunt, it suddenly seemed best to sit and rest midway while the others in our group explored shops at the bottom of a long, long flight of steps heading down toward the shore.  At complete peace with self and lupus limitations, skipping the stairs was an instant no-brainer.  Besides, it was a great opportunity to do some great people-watching.  When everyone else reached the top of the stairway again and reunited our group, we finished the second half of our twilight stroll through the remaining street level shops near our hotel.  The activity was pleasantly enough, without being too much.

Despite the Limitations of Lupus

LA Blog Wordle 2013The onset of Lupus clearly changes a person’s life, sometimes very dramatically.  Whether their presenting symptoms are arthritis, rashes, or perhaps a more serious aspect of Lupus, their life definitely changes.  Often, many lupus patients experience fatigue, pain, and other symptoms long before they ever receive the diagnosis.

After learning that Lupus is the cause of their medical problems, a person often has a great sense of relief, as well as hope that things will improve.  The average patient experiences Lupus symptoms four to six years and sees up to the same number of doctors before getting a clear diagnosis of Lupus.  Many describe the great sense of relief they feel after finally getting a one word diagnosis to describe their collection of multiple medical symptoms.

Doctor with clipboard 2With the diagnosis comes the welcome change of a decisive treatment plan and prescriptions for well-established treatments to help control the lupus.  Often the counsel from doctors and other knowledgeable counselors encourage changes in lifestyle and attentiveness to recognizing physical limitations.  Each lupus patient has their own unique set of symptoms and circumstances influencing their quality of life, despite lupus.  In the same patient, flares of their Lupus may suddenly narrow those limitations and frustrate their life goals and plans.

Over work or inadequate rest can quickly bring on extreme fatigue and lupus flare, so it is critical to learn to perceive physical, psychological, and spiritual signs of weariness, and then to take quick actions to retract the limits temporarily to quash or prevent an oncoming flare of lupus.  For many patients, the onset of extreme fatigue is the first symptom as a flare is starting, so becoming intentional about managing social commitments and activity in balance with physical stamina can go a long, long way to minimizing the length and severity of flares, when they do occur (and they will!).

doctor talking with patientLiving within the limits of Lupus may involve a strict regimen of medications, laboratory tests, and medical appointments, along with costs that that restrict a household budget.  Moderate physical exercise can help increase the physical limitations by encouraging good circulation and promoting tissue health and repair.  Adequate sleep becomes invaluable in fighting many of the affects of lupus, and can diminish some of the morning mental clouding that many patients experience daily.  Communicating with the rheumatologist becomes very important if arthritis or neuropathy pain disrupts sleep, and being willing to ask for and take pain medications can be essential to fighting the negative effects of lupus.

bf resting on benchAll in all, we can choose to make the most of what we have, despite lupus, and accept that lupus may make our life and limitations different than others.  Take a the time to you need to slow down, without letting this need frustrate you.  In the stillness of those quieter moments, focus on the blessings around you, and determine to embrace your limitations rather than becoming a victim of them.  Perhaps consider these thoughts penned by Paul of Tarsus, who also had a life-long chronic illness but embraced the ideas that his weaknesses and limitations were a blessing.  He wished his illness would go away, but he was no victim!

stock-photo-woman-reading-the-bible-in-the-darkness-over-wooden-table-277354922“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, KJV

 

 

 

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Lupus in a Victimless Life – Despite the Diagnosis

Series: Lupus in a Victimless Life

Having Lupus does not mean being a victim! Because Lupus is only one thing in an otherwise amazing life, it does not need to define us.  In the government law office where I work, we have a professional victim advocate who helps crime victims asset their rights through criminal court case against the person who hurt them.  One thing common to most victims is that they view themselves as victims, and often perceive themselves as powerless against the victimizer.

By looking at several aspects of lupus, this series will attempt to offer some ideas that may help with the effort to move away from a victim mentality, and toward a more positive perspective.  There is no question we cannot choose to have Lupus, but in some ways, we might even find some reasons to see some positives associated with Lupus!

First, consider the idea that becoming a victim is at least, in part, a matter of mindset and even a choice.

Despite the Lupus Diagnosis – an Overly Defensive Immune System

There is no cure for Lupus.  The treatment for Lupus has greatly improved over the past couple of decades, and especially since the new biologic medications such as Benlysta (Belimumab).

However at ease we become with the fact of our Lupus diagnosis, it remains an unwelcome companion traveling along with us in our life adventure.  Does that mean I should view myself as a victim?  No way!  There is a better way to view Lupus.

One afternoon, while sharing the podium and waiting to speak at a Lupus Foundation of America patient symposium, one of the world’s leading medical experts on lupus explained something very profound.   Her explanation provided a radically new perspective on Lupus.  A few minutes later, she explained the same concept to the room full of people.

She spoke about the most recent medical research that had produced a new understanding.   Lupus does not actually attack a Lupus patient, it actually overprotects them!

She went on to explain that immune systems can adapt and attack new and changing pathogens.  This is a testament to the fact that some people will always have auto immunity.  This capacity of the body to create antibodies against itself comes from the same aspect of our autoimmune system that can fight off new variants of viruses and bacteria.

Without the human body’s ability to develop new immune defenses, the human race would become extinct.  We owe our continued existence as a species to the fact that our immune systems, with their imperfections, can respond to either defend us against new threats, or unfortunately, become confused and try to overly defend us against our own cells mistakenly identified as threats.

This over-defensive response results in a wide array of auto-immune conditions, including Lupus.  She explained that this new information helped researchers understand why a certain segment of the population will certainly develop auto-immune responses.http://www.calumo.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/forgot.png

After hearing this explanation, my view on the “why” of lupus radically changed.  Lupus is not really attacking me, Lupus is really my flawed immune system working overtime defending me against an imagined threat.  It is demonstrating what friend of mine describes as “being exceedingly helpful” to a fault.

It seems that every lupus patient is actually a living testament to the kindness and protective grace of God.  Because imperfect humans have dynamic changing immune systems, the human race is kept alive.   If not for this ability, each newly mutated germ could wipe out millions of people.   But, due to the same immune processes that cause Lupus, the human race continues to fight new germs and virus mutations as they arise, and therefore survives.

So, instead of seeing myself as a victim of Lupus, I see myself as overprotected by a misdirected, well-meaning immune system.  With Lupus and its known negatives, we still have defense against the microscopic threats that would otherwise kill us off.  So, accepting the downside of Lupus goes along with accepting the upside of a flawed, overactive, but still amazingly effective immune system.

By remembering that 99.9% of my body works properly, it is possible to choose to rejoice about everything else that still works, while acknowledging and accepting the imperfections of having Lupus.

 

Lupus and the Big Six-Oh

Feeling Twice as Good as at Half My Age

valentines-day-love-heart-romantic-heart-butterflyDecades of unexplained symptoms finally resulted in a lupus diagnosis.  What a relief to finally know what to call it, and how to treat it.  At half my age, looking toward the future was a little uncertain and even threatening.  Thirty years ago, many people told me the outdated idea that after diagnosis life expectancy was about 10 years.  At first, it seemed this could mean disability, no cure, and an early death.  This was a scary set of thoughts for a young wife and mother of two small children!

computer coffee mugThe Internet was still mostly in academic circles, and in its infancy.  Although in a few years the “information highway” would take off and become the Internet as we know it today.  Before that, reliable medical information could be researched using dial-up using phone land lines and a modem.

This type of research service was expensive, paid for by hourly credit card charges, and “normal” people could only go to a large university or law library to use it.  Early career experience as a paralegal working on medical malpractice and injury cases exposed me to the online medical information service.  At the time, most people did not have computers at home, and mostly only doctors and lawyers had access to expensive legal and medical research databases.

medical books and stethascopeSo, doing research about my initial diagnosis: “abnormal high anti-nuclear antibodies” and “lupus-like polyarthritis” required a trip to a nearby county law library.  After pouring for hours through massive search results for these terms, some recurring facts emerged.  The search engines as we know them today did not yet exist.  By reading through medical articles, the out-of-date online information was slowly pieced together to explain what ANA was, and what a lupus diagnosis might mean.  These old research databases were not very encouraging, and the picture they offered for the future was discouraging.

Medical treatments and phases of lupus life

Wordle Word Cloud for Lupus Adventure Between the LinesMoving along through the second half of life since then was a rewarding adventure, full of increased knowledge, improved treatments, and vastly improved health.  The journey has had a good number of bumps along the way, but over the long haul the outcome has been so much better than was ever expected!  Moving from the initial partial diagnosis to a full systemic lupus diagnosis added certainty to the nature of the challenge.  Doctors had a clearer focus on treatments to use, and were able to tap into clinical trials and new medications to manage the lupus.

An important part of the partnership between doctor and patient has always included willingness to comply with new approaches that were presented.  Using chemotherapy drugs was tried for about ten years, and then it was time for a change.  An insightful general practice physician asked if the rheumatologist had “thought about trying one of the new biologics” to manage difficult symptoms.  This idea led to a clinical trial that triggered a several year remission, and later opened the path for Benlsyta when lupus  symptoms came back with a vengeance.

Milestone yellow11_02Like for so many other lupus patient, the years of the journey are inevitably marked with mental milestones of major life events, periods of major lupus activity, and new medicines!

First, were the pre-diagnosis years of rashes and pain, followed by many mildly bumpy Plaquenil years.

Then, there was the year to end all years of mourning my mother and developing organ involvement, including CNS problems.  This began the difficult decade of Methotrexate and Imuran.

Next, were the amazing Rituxan clinical trial remission years, followed briefly by a miserable year striving with insurance appeals while hoping for approval of more Rituxan.

youth-active-jump-happy-40815.jpegThis takes us to the current Benlysta years.  This has to be the best decade  since childhood, and perhaps even better than childhood, when lupus symptoms first began their intrusion into a young girl’s life.

Feeling twice as good!

Then came the present realization that sixty feels better than thirty ever did!  It is a true blessing to feel twice as good as I did at half my age!  Now, the future looks better than it ever has before.

At sixty, it is great to feel twice as good as at thirty! Thirty years ago, it never seemed possible that now would be better, not worse, that it was then.  For this small miracle I thank the Lord daily.  My cup is full of joy!

 

 

Lupus and Working with ADA and FMLA

Empty Office Chair and Desk
Working with Lupus challenges every patient because it impacts the activities of daily living needed for holding a job or career.  At times, it can be downright difficult to work with lupus, when even getting up in the morning is rough.  Thanks in part to the important protections the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Family Medical Leave Act provide to U.S. citizens, it is not impossible.

FMLA from DOL

Recently, we held a meeting at work for the annual discussion of my ADA accommodations.  To prepare for my employer’s annual recertification process, some work was required before the next quarterly appointment with my rheumatologist.

Forms for requesting an ADA accommodation were downloaded from my employer’s Human Resources web site, along with an FLMA Certification form.  The paperwork included a document for my signature permitting my doctor to share my private medical information with the HR department at work.  Because this was not the first year, the prior year’s accommodation and FMLA forms could be used as samples for preparing this year’s forms.

FMLA ChecklistOnce the forms were ready, next came gathering backup documents to attach to the forms:

WP_20170912_11_27_53_ProI set up a meeting with my supervisors a few days before my doctor appointment, telling them about the need to recertify FMLA and update ADA.  I gave them each a copy of the forms and the attachments we would talk about at the meeting.  This helped prepare them to be ready with anything they might want to suggest for the new year’s accommodation, or have conversations with others about the impacts of my past accommodations.

It is always a great idea for an employee to take charge of initiating any ADA/FMLA process!  It helps prevent putting the employee in a defensive position, and demonstrates the employee’s professional approach to workplace challenges related to their disability.  By taking the lead in coordinating the conversation my bosses, human resources, and my doctor before the recertification deadline, it helped me be better prepared to respond to any changes they might propose.  My bosses and the Human Resources office thanked me for making this aspect of their jobs easier.

Calendar a meetingLater, when we met to talk, my bosses both expressed how well my schedule changes and other accommodations had worked out during the past year, and readily agreed with my suggested accommodations for the next year.  I asked them if there were any problems or concerns but there were none.  The meeting gave us opportunity to talk in more depth about some of my personal and work challenges and struggles due to Lupus.  It seems this helped them better understand my commitment to my work, and how willing I am to do my part to make their accommodations of my Lupus successful.  Also, my newest boss had many general questions about Lupus that were answered, raising his awareness and understanding.

Next, at the appointment with my rheumatologist, we talked about my FMLA form, the attached job description, and the attached recent performance appraisal.   This conversation was a great way for my doctor to know more about the daily challenges of my lupus, and to help her understand more about me and how I cope with Lupus and work on a daily basis.  She had gathered enough information to help her honestly evaluate my performance and the reasonableness of my request for schedule changes.

thV6NHX9CTBefore leaving, I also gave my doctor a copy of the ADA accommodation request I was going to file with the Human Resources office, so she would also be ready when they contacted her to talk about it.  It is very important to show that an employee can do the job well with the help of an accommodation, because ADA laws do not protect employees if a reasonable accommodation is not enough to help them do the essential functions of their job.  She filled out the FMLA form after the appointment and sent it to my employer’s human resources office.

A few days later we sat down for the scheduled meeting to discuss how my intermittent FMLA leave and ADA accommodations had been working out over the past year.  We agreed to continue my schedule adjustments that allow a later start to my work and the ability to use telecommuting during flares, when needed.  They also shared positive feedback with me received from my co-workers and affirmed that they knew of no negatives resulting from my schedule modifications.  This was also a great opportunity to tell them how grateful and thankful I am to have supportive bosses who believe in me and see beyond any limitations my Lupus causes.   After the meeting, the final paperwork filed with the Human Resources office documented we had meet and conferred about my accommodations, as the ADA requires them to do, and the human resources department responded by issuing their endorsement of the arrangements.

CommunicateCommunication and cooperation between employee and employer can make all the difference!  With some footwork and planning, a Lupus patient can coordinate workplace accommodations and flexibility for facing health challenges the might otherwise threaten their job.  Sometimes, in past years, my bosses have asked me to make some changes to the accommodations, and by meeting and conferring, reached workable solutions that were better for them, while also accommodating my lupus limitations.  I am grateful, and thank God frequently for the work situation that I have been blessed to enjoy, where they follow not only the letter of the ADA and FMLA law, but the spirit of it, also.

Lupus and Putting Off the Pounds

WP_20170912_11_21_00_ProLosing weight with lupus is a challenge, especially when prednisone is in the mix.  Recently the Rheumatologist noted that upward creeping weight was not a great thing.  Blood pressure that had always been a non-issue was slowing rising over time.  Over the past couple of years, the pounds had inched up about five pounds annually.  The thought of where that trend logically might lead in just a few more years was disconcerting, to say the least.

After consistently reaching successively new all time high weights, the alarm bells were definitely ringing!   Walking between the hotel and conference center on a business trip a few months ago brought on uncomfortable windedness and fatigue.  Put that together with lupus and a littleoverview mild asthma, clearly it was not a great situation..

Besides,  the “large clothes” no longer fit.  Nothing in the closet gave a sense of feeling just right, and just getting dressed each morning for work or church was frustrating and stressful.  It seemed the growing frustration over accumulated weight gain had begun to take on more importance and was finally demanding attention.  It was time for some serious problem-solving.

Recent family photographs clearly provided graphic illustration of the new peak weight.  The outside appearance clearly did not match the inward mental self-image.   There was a gap several sizes wide between the outer and inner gal.  Accepting the truth meant coming to terms with that gap and accepting reality.  The stark reality of the doctor’s online chart notes in the patient portal was clear. She simply diagnosed the malady with the single word, “obesity.”

A weight loss plan was devised based on a basic math formula: calories burned > calories consumed = weight loss.  With the help of a Fitbit watch to track the calories burned, and a food scale, and scanned bar codes for calorie counting, the journey began. Removing all the junk foods and empty calories came first, followed by adding a morning protein shake and plenty of other proteins, vegetables, and fruit.

It haWP_20170922_16_20_31_Pros  now been four months.  23 pounds have burned away and body mass index dropped from 25 to 20.  Two dress sizes were lost, and about 2-3 inches each from waist, hips, etc.  The Rheumatologist was very pleased with the progress, and especially happy that lupus was the best she had seen over several years.  Increased exercise has also helped improve strength and energy levels, and changes in size and health are getting noticed.  After putting on more and more pounds every year, it was now time to turn about and put off those pounds, one calorie at a time.  Still working toward a few more pounds, but happy with the improvements in health due to trimming down a bit.

Lupus Adventurers in Butterfly Wonderland

Butterfly Wonderland opened a couple of years ago in Scottsdale, Arizona!

Many experiences photographing butterflies protected in butterfly sanctuaries has been a highlight of trips to some nearby states.  For this butterfly enthusiast, such an outing is nothing short of delightful!  Now that Arizona has its own butterfly sanctuary, we recently took our five grandchildren out for an afternoon of butterfly watching and photography.  Armed with cameras and snacks, we set out for a few hours of fun.

As my granddaughters watched, one butterfly slowly closed its wings into instant camouflage, suddenly resembling a dry leaf!  We enjoyed our pleasant diversion wandering through Butterfly Wonderland, not very far from my own backyard.  It is the perfect shady oasis for a restful afternoon getaway.

LA’s Musical Background

piano lamp1

Learning to play

First, I am not the accomplished pianist my husband is.  He can just sit down and play, read pretty much any music, add notes, embellish to make it better than what is written, and think on his musical feet (or perhaps musical seat!)  As for me, first comes being a singer, then a student pianist.  Only after struggling with CNS lupus, did  learning to play the piano in earnest become incredibly important.  In the beginning it was primarily cognitive therapy and a musical test eye-hand coordination before commuting.  With slow improvement a vision for more musical purpose emerged.

Playing the piano started almost ten years ago, not long after a fiftieth birthday.  Although a handful of exceptional pianists are friends of my husband and me, personal goals include the realization not ever being in his or their league!  Still, a love for playing the piano makes it fun.  Learning is slower than might otherwise be for young student of the instrument, it will always be a work in progress.

What high and lofty musical goal is being pursue?  To be useful!  As a church musician, I see that there is always a place for any level of competent piano skills, even if just to improve my effectiveness coaching other singers and helping them learn their music.  If I am careful not to overdo it, my lupus arthritis doesn’t flare and I can play the piano without hurting my hands.

So, perhaps quitting the day job to pursue music more fully isn’t reasonable, but then again, maybe it is!  It won’t be too long before I need to cut my work stress down considerably, especially with my lupus.  I consider retiring from my current day-job in government law, collecting my hard-earned pension and doing something less stressful like teaching private voice, piano and music theory lessons to children, or perhaps work part-time as a school choir director.  Perhaps there should be a shingle hanging from my mailbox that reads, “will teach music for health insurance.”

thDOENQV8E (2)

California State University Campus

Going into college, my talents and gifts included more voice than money, so following music scholarships was the practical choice.  The first three years of college offered solid voice technique and music theory instruction by wonderful music professors in the music school of a large public university in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Then, in the fourth year followed a music performance scholarship to a private Christian college in Arizona.  This opportunity included touring the U.S. performing 8 concerts each week for three summer months.  This experience helps me realize my lack of stamina required for living as a traveling minstrel.  What a wearying lifestyle!  Realizing this hinted that there were greater physical challenges ahead that a few years later would be diagnosed as Lupus.  But, it was a life-changing and broadening experience that enriched a young singer’s life!

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Arizona Campus

Music has always been part of my life, long before the Lupus diagnosis.  Long before a head-first flight through a windshield herniated three discs in my cervical spine and before lupus arthritis made finger joints balloon, it was still possible to hold a violin under my chin, bending neck to the left.  Hands still could cradle the violin neck with vibrato motion in the left hand and a bow in the right.  Now, that violin sits untouched in its case, proper in the corner by the piano.  My younger sister and her first husband were also violinists, and excelled at it.  It was their primary instrument.  The violin was always my second, and the skill with was mediocre, at best.

singing a lupus solo

Just couldn’t stop singing…

Singing was a non-stop activity from the time of my early childhood.  Apparently, there are always going to be a few of us musical misfit kids that show up in kindergarten singing their ABCs with a natural vibrato.  Thankfully for me, there was no stage door mother to go along with that phenomenon, and I was allowed to have a normal well balanced childhood!  I was the elementary school librarian’s daughter, so books and homework always came first, before the music.  But, there was always a whole lot of singing going on!

Everyone at my family liked music, was musical or sang, except my older sister.  (She was strictly an artist, but could draw and paint like no one else we had ever seen, except maybe Norman Rockwell.  Her music was played on paper and canvas.)  Our two brothers have a bit of down-to-earth music in them too, between them playing the clarinet, guitar, sitar and some mean toe-tapping harmonica.  Our dad had a smooth rich Baritone voice and loved to break into songs unexpectedly like, “Swing, Low, Sweet Chariot,” or his favorite, “The Yellow Rose of Texas,” and performed for several years in his youth with a barbershop quartet.

But, our mother absolutely loved music!  She played the piano a little, as her mother did, too, and owned some various instruments that she dabbled with, including an autoharp, balalaika, mandolin and a couple of violins.  But, when she sang to us with her sweet pure high soprano voice, we melted. Hers was not a shrill sound like so many women who desperately try to sing in the upper soprano ranges, but rather a warm milk-and-honey sort of lullaby voice with a lilt.  She sang from the happiness of her heart, without affectation or guile.  Her voice was genuine, humble and beautiful.  She could hug you with a song, and then make you feel like singing along.

Mom infected me with incurable love of music and singing.  Family describe me as singing while playing, walking to school, washing dishes, bathing (of course) and every night at the dinner table, my mom would gently repeat a special table manners rule created just for me, “we don’t sing at the table.”  This stern but musing directive would jar me from my humming world of musical bliss to the rude awakening of my green beans, meatloaf and milk.   Not being very objective about my own behavior at the age of five, it’s best to take other people’s word for it.

My Parent's Record Player

My Parent’s Old Record Player

Often sitting cross legged for hours on the hardwood floor of my parents living room, 45 rpm singles would play on an old Zenith monaural record player my parents bought in the early 1950s.  Every note was memorized, mimic each narration and singing along with the different instrumental sounds dramatizing Prokofiev’s “Peter and the Wolf.”  This was my favorite, and sometimes in the quiet I could silently “listen” from memory to the entire score, just as if the turntable on the Zenith were still spinning.  Some days, I would sing along with Julie Andrews’ songs from musicals like Mary Poppins or the Sound of Music.  By the time I was old enough to learn to read, I had already learned every note and syllable of all the 45s in our house.

My mother was an elementary school librarian, so there wasn’t a lot of television.  It was turned on for a specific program, and turned off again.  Most nights, various members of the family were practicing instruments, doing homework or reading books in one corner of the house or another.  Mostly, there was a calm peace filling our home, subdued conversations, interrupted sometimes by one of us playing records from my parent’s diverse collection of 33 rpm albums.  They had just about everything, the popular music included a little Glen Miller, Roy Rogers or Nat King Cole and the “real music” included a broader selection of symphony and chamber music including Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Brahms, Berlioz, Bach, Mozart, Haydn, Handel, Puccini and of course, my favorite Prokofiev.

The advent of rock music seemed respected and nominally welcome at our home, and was tolerated in limited volumes and time frames, as my older siblings embraced contemporary music of the late 1960s and early 1970s.  I didn’t get much past the Beatles and Peter, Paul and Mary into the foray of rock music (if you can even call them rock by today’s standards) and was once again sort of a musical misfit, or simply put, just not “hip” in the hippie age.  I guess I never got the memo, or just forgot to read it.  I was too wrapped up in my love of the classics and by high school was studying Italian and German art songs and arias from composers like Scarlatti, Puccini and taking parts in musicals plays such as Oliver, Oklahoma, Carnival, Little Mary Sunshine and others.

San Francisco Symphony at old War Memorial Opera House on Van Buren St.

San Francisco Symphony at the old
War Memorial Opera House, Van Buren St.

Growing up, we sometimes attended the Oakland and San Francisco Symphonies with my parents, and the love of music grew.  As an adult, my music is pretty much performed only in the church setting, as a member of our church choir, as a soloist, as a duet partner with either my husband or a dear friend, in an occasional ensemble group, or playing the piano for services my church holds for seniors in independent and assisted living residences in our community.  Recently, ab opportunity to serve with playing the piano for an entire church service was a nerve-stretching challenge, and a new milestone in this personal musical ministry journey.

[I posted this a couple of days ago, by mistake, before it was finished and edited.  My apologies to those of you who received the rough, unedited version in your email.  WordPress has had some changes while I was on a writing sabbatical, which I am still learning to navigate.  Thanks!  LA]

 

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