One Patient's Positive Perspectives

Gentle rain fell in the night

Gentle rain fell all night

Outside gentle rain fell steadily all night long, playing its soft mumbling music as lupus neuropathy and sleeplessness led to a first cup of decaf tea. Soon, the cup was cool and empty, and in the dark chill of night, it’s comfort and warming gone.

More cups followed in a cycle of comfort and cooling until the counting was lost and the morning was nearing. Sitting alone on the counter, a white saucer held a half-dozen soggy tea bags and a single spoon.  Then, exhaustion overwhelmed and sleep was at last possible.  Many long days filled with many concerns had also weighed heavily on a mind much too troubled with the cares of life.  Added to lupus and it’s challenges, stress and auto-immunity had taken their toll.  But, at last, there was sleep.

grass

Soaked grass glistened

A few short hours later, morning came especially hard.  But the outside called, and the yard was unusually fresh and scrubbed by the evening’s showers.  Soaked ground glistened, and the moist lawn was saturated.  The air was crisp, moist and fresh, and filled with aroma of damp leaves and soil.  A chorus of giddy birds filled the cool morning air with vibrant chatter, as their song rose in the peaceful freshness of the morning.

It seemed that for a few moments, time stopped for me to briefly to experience the pleasure of a perfect, peace-filled instant. Gently slipping into the porch swing, leaning back and inhaling deeply, my eye lids closed so all my senses could taste and drink in the delightful morning.  If ever there was true simple bliss in this humble mortal world, it can surely be in simple joy of a perfect restful pause such as this!

Creator

Mighty, caring Creator!

Soon rejuvenated beyond the fruits of my shortened slumber, thoughts of prayer and gratitude formed in my heart and mind.  Such rich blessings placed all around me by the hand of a mighty, caring Creator, just waiting for me to notice and appreciate.

Did He envision the comfort and encouragement such an instance like this would bring?  In His infinite knowledge, mercy and love did He plan for even this single moment’s small blessing?  Who can know a weary heart’s simplest, and also deepest needs.

The God of my undeserved salvation surely does!  In His matchless mercy and kindness, it would seem He planned for providing even simple joys like this!  Prayers of words alone were absolutely inadequate, as in my grateful heart deep emotions mingled silently with unspoken thoughts of thanks.

Chilled air rushed deeply in with each breath, filling the deepest corners of my lungs with coolness.  It seemed within a few brief seconds weariness vanished, and a deep calming rest supplemented for lack of true sleep. Lupus not withstanding, my body felt strong and restored!

The day called

The day ahead called urgently

But then, the day ahead now called urgently, ringing its intrusive alarm to pull me toward resuming thoughts of responsibilities and care.  It promised to be busy and full of much to manage and do, but I was now ready for the schedule ahead.

Perhaps these moments are the reason we build porches, manufacture patio tables and chairs, and spend hours and small fortunes on landscaping and lawns.  We surround ourselves with these iconic items, hoping for snippets of time like this to enjoy ourselves in their midst.  For these precious glimpses of perfectness we plan and prepare.

Lupus and believing in mornings...

Chorus of generations of birds

Yet, it would have been too easy to slip right past this common opportunity, to forget to stop, sit a spell, or savor the beauty of finding this moment of perfect peace.  This is a nearly eternal moment.

Time has not seemed to move one second between stop off points, between the strung out lifelong series of moments like this.  They all seem somehow connected, and that perhaps generations of birds have seamlessly continued the same choral masterpiece, falling long ago upon ears of a seven year-old girl — and who now sits on my porch as a grandma!

Fluttering

Fluttering from dandelion to dandelion

Moments like these are when all seems right with the world, and the soul of a little girl returns to my heart.  Decades — no, half a century — has passed and it seems like that the same little girl who sat in the cool brisk dampness of her mother’s backyard, reveling in the birdsong, moist grass, flowers and earthy fragrance, is here, now.

No time has passed at all, and perhaps she is really the same little girl sitting on this back porch today, slowly sipping the delights of this morning’s fresh washed yard.

She closes her eyes and finds the same pure enjoyment of morning as did the little girl of yesterday who sat wiggling her bare toes in the soothing wet grass of her mother’s breezy back yard, patiently watching a Monarch flutter and float from one dew-kissed dandelion to another.

Both girls closed their eyes and savored their precious gift of morning.

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