Sleep should never be taken for granted, or pushed aside as a necessary interruption. It’s merits are poorly underappreciated and pursuit of it can be elusive and frustrating. Yet, when it arrives uncomplicated and complete, in enough depth to last the entire night, cherish it, be grateful for it, and thank God every time it blesses you with a night full of true rest. Such was last night!
This morning arrived sweeter, fresher and with little morning fog than any recent morning in the past few weeks. Night after night sleep was interrupted barely before it began, with pain and neuropathy burning in my legs, and even in my fingers, complicated with the remnants of pain from falling on my hip last year. Nights in succession were spent moving back and forth between bed, kitchen, office and living room, trying in vain to find a comfortable spot, and hoping desperately for the relief of sleep.
Yet, as each evening wore on into the small hours of the still black morning, eventually sleep would come in sheer exhaustion and weariness. There is no book compelling enough to trade for the precious rest I sought, except perhaps the precious pages of scripture. They, in their own powerful way offer a type of rest that sleep cannot touch, a type needed even more than sleep, meeting a deeper, soulful, ancient need. They provide truth, words of life and pure rest to my spirit, and stay dear in the dark of a long sleepless night.
But, my frail, fragile, imperfect body still needs the rest of simple physical sleep. For this sleep I have prayed, and for days the answer did not did not come until now. Waiting, hoping, that the siege of insomnia brought on by sleep interrupting lupus pain would break, I prayed on. Finally, the answer to this prayer came in the form of long hours of deep, mindless, dream-filled sleep. A precious ten hours, one stacked upon the next until the tower of time reached the morning. At last, sleep!
Awakened in a start by my husband’s urgency, I selfishly did not mind that he had unintentionally slept through his alarm. That meant the assurance of a couple of extra hours of sleep recovery for me! Today marks the end of five days of intense morning brain fog, and the welcome blessing of waking to a rested morning. Although long hours of sleep come with increased lupus joint swelling and stiffness, mental processes are quickly clearing of fog and the day promises to be a good one.
Today, my prayer shifts to grateful thanksgiving for the not-so-simple blessing of good sleep.