The alarm on my tablet PC laying on the end table summoned me from the half dead depths of sleep. The flashing screen announced, “9:20 Dr. Appt.” My waking realization was that in exactly one hour I needed to be there! So, striking the graphic snooze button to silence the screaming electronic gadget, I set the tablet back down on the night stand. For just a moment, my groggy lupus-tinged brain begged me to lay back down and wait for the 30 minute warning.
I have been late too many times in my life because of sleeping in, or because my lupus was too active in the morning to allow me to safely leave my house earlier. Today was not going to be one of them. Forcing myself out if bed, I stumbled down the hall to assess the morning state of my kitchen. Alas, no waiting coffee on the burner this morning. My husband must have left in too much of a hurry to make it.
Coffee, quickly, was the first order of business! No time was left to brew a pot, so some microwave zapped water and instant coffee on the go would have to do. Morning medications with a dash of juice and a quick piece of toast and Nutella. Next sprinting through a mini-shower, and stepping into jeans, t-shirt and flip-flops were all a continuous motion sequence of events ending with a key sliding into the ignition of my PT Cruiser.
In motion, still, I traveled down the freeway on a ten-minute jaunt to the doctor’s office. Still groggy and barely legal as the CNS morning lupus symptoms clung to my still fuzzy brain. I realized I was actually hugging my thermal coffee cup! In between sips of the stimulating drink, my cup was not in the cup holder between sips, it was gripped by my right hand, as I hugged the warm cup against my heart.
So, this is the confession of a coffee mug hugging lupus patient, in that dawning realization I was actually clinging to my coffee cup as I once might have to my little teddy bear in years long, long before grand-motherhood, motherhood, college, grade school and kindergarten. I had caught myself embracing a warm thermal mug, enjoying a few moments of miniscule fleeting comfort. How could I help but quietly chuckle at myself in the silliness and simplicity of the pleasure.
Barely on-time and slightly more awake, my destination was in front of me. I enjoyed the remainder of a great cup of coffee as it accompanied me through the waiting room, time with the doctor, and chat with staff before leaving. The last sip went down as I returned to my car and headed off to the McDonald’s across the street to get a refill, write down this snap shot of my thoughts, and chuckle one more time at my now humorous expression of endearment to a mere coffee cup.
Now, my brain has shaken off enough of the clinging brain fog to safely embark on the rest of my day’s journey. Cup and refill in hand, I will try to regain some shred of maturity, and refrain from any more mug hugging this morning, at least not in public.