One Patient's Positive Perspectives

Screaming alarm…

The alarm on my tablet PC laying on the end table summoned me from the half dead depths of sleep. The flashing screen announced, “9:20 Dr. Appt.” My waking realization was that in exactly one hour I needed to be there! So, striking the graphic snooze button to silence the screaming electronic gadget, I set the tablet back down on the night stand. For just a moment, my groggy lupus-tinged brain begged me to lay back down and wait for the 30 minute warning.

I have been late too many times in my life because of sleeping in, or because my lupus was too active in the morning to allow me to safely leave my house earlier. Today was not going to be one of them. Forcing myself out if bed, I stumbled down the hall to assess the morning state of my kitchen. Alas, no waiting coffee on the burner this morning. My husband must have left in too much of a hurry to make it.

Coffee, quickly!

Coffee, quickly, was the first order of business! No time was left to brew a pot, so some microwave zapped water and instant coffee on the go would have to do. Morning medications with a dash of juice and a quick piece of toast and Nutella.  Next sprinting through a mini-shower, and stepping into jeans, t-shirt and flip-flops were all a continuous motion sequence of events ending with a key sliding into the ignition of my PT Cruiser.

In motion, still…

In motion, still, I traveled down the freeway on a ten-minute jaunt to the doctor’s office. Still groggy and barely legal as the CNS morning lupus symptoms clung to my still fuzzy brain.  I realized I was actually hugging my thermal coffee cup!  In between sips of the stimulating drink, my cup was not in the cup holder between sips, it was gripped by my right hand, as I hugged the warm cup against my heart.

teddy bear in years long, long before

So, this is the confession of a coffee mug hugging lupus patient, in that dawning realization I was actually clinging to my coffee cup as I once might have to my little teddy bear in years long, long before grand-motherhood, motherhood, college, grade school and kindergarten. I had caught myself embracing a warm thermal mug, enjoying a few moments of miniscule fleeting comfort. How could I help but quietly chuckle at myself in the silliness and simplicity of the pleasure.

Off to the McDonald’s

Barely on-time and slightly more awake, my destination was in front of me. I enjoyed the remainder of a great cup of coffee as it accompanied me through the waiting room, time with the doctor, and chat with staff before leaving. The last sip went down as I returned to my car and headed off to the McDonald’s across the street to get a refill, write down this snap shot of my thoughts, and chuckle one more time at my now humorous expression of endearment to a mere coffee cup.

Cup and refill in hand

Now, my brain has shaken off enough of the clinging brain fog to safely embark on the rest of my day’s journey. Cup and refill in hand, I will try to regain some shred of maturity, and refrain from any more mug hugging this morning, at least not in public.


Comments on: "Lupus and confessions of a coffee mug hugger" (5)

  1. I am fairly new to lupus (diagnosed in November), but am also a CNS lupus patient. Your quick story was quite relatable and entertained me this morning 🙂 Question: does coffee really help the fatigue and fogginess for you? If so, I’m going to try drinking coffee more often!


    • Rebecca: Yes, coffee helps… helps me fake it. It clearly wakes me up, and CNS symptoms are somewhat the opposite, sort of. But, coffee will not really correct cognitive dysfunction nor eye-hand coordination deficits, but makes me more wide awake while mentally foggy. Also, if I wake up with a lupus migraine, the coffee definitely helps that! However, being alert with CNS issues is clearly better than being sleepy with CNS, and to some degree being more alert helps up speeds up the metabolism functions that help lessen the symptoms sooner in the day. I have low blood pressure and no medical issues that contraindicate drinking coffee. Actually, exercise accomplishes more help with the symptoms. You could say coffee masks the symptoms a little but doesn’t really help solve the problem. I feel better, but don’t really think any better. All together for me coffee is a plus, besides I love it. LA

      • Thanks! I like coffee, but I think I am going to start loving it! I am trying to start back into exercising, but I have bad joint problems in my right knee and hip, so my physical therapist is making me go slowly.

        Also, you write such great blogs all the time, you are inspitational and entertaining at the same time 🙂 Keep it up, and happy 2 year anniversary!

  2. complicatedfabulous said:

    Coffee is such an amazing invention. I couldn’t make it through a day without it! Thank goodness for $1 large coffee at McD’s right?!

  3. Oh how often I have done that. Something as simple as hot coffee, that glorious aroma as it wafts into your senses. Such beauty!!! Such love for such simplicity that is granted each morning.

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