Disclaimer: Please be advised that the following phantom research report has absolutely no connection with empirical scientific or medical research, neither express nor implied, and is guaranteed to be genuine spoof in each term and condition for which the specified non-treatment is prescribed.
Late last week, Dr. Metam Orfisis and Dr. Raptina C. Ocoon of the Monarch Institute for Advanced Lupus Studies announced a breakthrough discovery in the treatment of excessive color variation syndrome affecting the wardrobes of lupus patients.
Measurable mood elevation and reproducible results in monochromatic colorization phenomenon occurred when lupus patients were compliant with instructions to dress in purple garments during Lupus Awareness Month.
Although other measurable improvements in their lupus symptoms could not be verified by the results of the study, the colorization improvements were statistically significant in raising lupus awareness and improving the emotional perspectives of patients involved in the study.
An unexpected outcome of their joint research was several anecdotal reports of patient fondness for butterfly images in randomized image preference surveys of the study participants. Further observation and clinical trials to verify these findings are anticipated during the month of May, 2012.