Much of the world moves at a breath-taking pace, and once that rapidness energized me. Exhilarating, stimulating, exciting, competitive, challenging — bring it on!
Like most type “A” over-achievers, perfection and competition drove me to push harder and longer toward excellence. It seemed I was ever raising my goal to do better and accomplish more. Trying to be the best at everything I put my hand to accomplish, and never letting myself rest until success was achieved.
Somewhere along the way, lupus entered the formula of my life. It ran counter-purpose to my inner drive and motivations. Single-handedly it had a part in reshaping my humbled frame into a very different letter. No longer able to push myself physically toward maximum performance, I have had to accept the limitations that are a result of accelerated cell death lupus causes in connective tissues. I have limits, that are not compatible with the Type A person inside my mind and soul.
Now, the type “A” girl inside is trapped inside a type “C” body, so I guess that means I have morphed into a type B personality. The inner girl never changed, and occasionally she peeks through, but the outer package and physical limitations brought on by lupus moderate my behavior and filter perception of me for the on lookers.