Rainy days usually mean waking up in darkness feeling deep lupus joint and bone pain long before the weather report is ever broadcast. I awaken when my first hint of morning is the grandfather clock’s brief hourly message. Counting resounding dings, often three or four o’clock starts my rainy day mornings, when sleep is unable to be reclaimed.
Soon, I am hoping my rainy mornings may start differently because of my Benlysta infusion treatments! However, although the change is beginning in my health, that day has not quite arrived.
This day began at dawn, as morning’s first light filtered through the damp blanket of clouds over my bedroom window, gently stirring and awakening me. Although my joints were mildly stiff and aching, the depth of the pain and accompanying sense of lupus activity was much less this morning than on most recent muggy rainy days I can remember. I awoke mostly rested, but in a slight flare of arthritis and feeling some mild CNS symptoms. Not horrible, not overwhelming, just mildly there.
This is acceptable! I am thankful to have a day with only a slight degree of lupus flare, rather than the unabated consuming lupus symptoms I have experienced over most of the last two years! After all, the Benlysta is just beginning to show its effects, and I have to expect that every day may not be as wonderful of an adventure as I would like.
After a couple of cups of warming coffee, medications, vitamins and a nourishing bowl of Multi-grain Cheerios, I was ready to face the day.
All day long, my mood and physical energy level were more subdued than the past couple of weeks. I was clearly less perky than all of last week! Today was definitely filled with the presence of lupus, reminding me that it is still present, lingering and active.
However, tenacious my lupus may be, I am still greatly encouraged by today’s lighter than normal lupus reaction to this otherwise wonderful, cold, muggy, rainy day. I refuse to let lupus dampen my love of fall and its refreshing rainy weather.
I will rejoice in this glorious rainy day, and my God who created the rain and the blessings that come with it. The joy of the Lord is my strength!
I will joy in the rain, despite my lupus! Joy is my resounding choice. I choose joy!