One Patient's Positive Perspectives

Bronchitis, at my door uninvited!

After being in an extended lupus flare, the last thing in the world I wanted was any uninvited guests to show up!  One unwelcome guest, Lupus, at my house is enough!  But, I recently found out that Bronchitis is not a respecter of persons or etiquette.  He moves in, uninvited, anywhere he can get his foot in the door, and stays for days or weeks at at time.  After over a week I have concluded that Bronchitis has absolutely no manners whatsoever!

Bronchitis didn’t care that I already had one uninvited guest living at my house.  Lupus already tags along and goes everywhere with me.  Sometimes she is such a nuisance, but I am somewhat used to her.  She is my inseparable constant companion.  That should be enough company for one girl to have to entertain at a time!  But, Bronchitis came in and sat down right next to Lupus and me, and followed us from room to room.  He really made things miserable for us.  He brought along his favorite annoyances and pranks: burning chest, coughing, aching, fever, insomnia, malaise.  He was just plain intolerable!

Bronchitis told me clearly he had no intent of leaving until he was good and ready.  How rude!  My already lupus-challenged mornings were just plain miserable, and this lasted all day long for days on end.  I was soon asking myself, “How did I even let him in the door?”

So, on Monday I took Lupus and Bronchitis with me to visit the doctor.  I asked the doctor to talk some sense into Bronchitis, and he obliged.  My doctor threw some medical sounding antibiotic words at him, and Bronchitis promised he would obey the doctor’s words.  Since then, he has been quite stubborn about following through with his promise, and is still hanging around and loitering!  The doctor assured me his words made quite an impression on Bronchitis, but that it might take a few days to sink in.

Runny Nose, Sneezy Nose and Watering Eyes came along, too!

But, after that, Bronchitis even got worse for a few days!  Bronchitis had the unmitigated gall to expand his uncouth behavior.  He used my cell phone to call up his cousin, Runny Nose, and she came over, too!  She even brought along her sister Sneezy Nose and half-sister Watery Eyes.  The three moved in for a few days and kept interrupting me constantly.  They would gather together and get right up in my face all the time.  That pesky trio made me the most miserable of all for three long blathering days!

I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, think a thought, or do a thing without first wiping off Runny or Watery, or being interrupted in mid-sentence by Sneezy.  Who invited them, anyway?  Oh, that’s right, it was Bronchitis!

I thought I would never get rid of those three sickly sisters!  Thankfully, Runny, Sneezy and Watery packed their bags and left yesterday.  I don’t think they liked my pet Sudafed or the Anti-Viral Kleenex that I kept drying them off with.  Fine, if they are offended by my cleanliness!  I am glad they finally left!  So be it.

However, Bronchitis is still hanging around.  It is still interrupting my thoughts, with occasional coughs and shortness of breath.  He even woke up my sleeping dog, Asthma.  He pesters and keeps that poor dog so agitated all the time, its a wonder he isn’t worn out by now.  I am hoping that my dog-whistle asthma inhalers will get him back under control when Bronchitis finally gets out of here.  My subdued little hound should behave better when things return to a normal routine, again.

This morning, I put my foot down and refused to take Bronchitis to church with me.  Fearing that he might abruptly decide to go home with one of my unsuspecting friends, I sent my husband off to church by himself.  So, I stayed home from church with Bronchitis and my faithful pup, Asthma.

Be gone in the morning!

A couple of hours later, I had a little talk with Bronchitis, and told him I expect him to be gone in the morning.  I made it clear he had long over-stayed his welcome.  I haven’t seen Bronchitis packing his bags yet, and its after dinner now, but the evening isn’t over yet!

Tomorrow, I plan to go to back to work.  Bronchitis is clearly not welcome there.  My hope is, that Bronchitis will follow me out the door and I’ll lock it.  If I can get into my car fast enough, and take off quickly, he just might not have time to get into the car with me.  Then, I will drive off to work without him.  At last, I will finally be free of him for the first time in 10 days! Or, so I hope!

I hope and expect Bronchitis will just wander off at that point.  I just hope he didn’t have time to snoop around and find my spare key!

At any rate, the doctor wrote down those antibiotic words for me.  He explained that sometimes Bronchitis likes to hang around the neighborhood for a few days.  He said to keep reciting the antibiotic words, so that if he knocks on my door again any time in the next three weeks, I will have the courage to send him away again.

What an adventure!  I am more than ready to be done with extra uninvited guests for now.  I just hope Bronchitis didn’t look up any of my friends’ addresses when I wasn’t looking.

Comments on: "Lupus, the uninvited guest, has company…" (1)

  1. are you totally certain your friendly doctor didn’t slip you something hallucinogenic? I’m just sayin’. Glad to know you are well enough to torture a metophor with your crazy humor.

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